Feelin' my exploding eyeball disease take its toll and therefore I am bummed...

For those of you who want to know what's going on with my eyes: During my last visit home I had an appointment with my neurologist. I was pretty nervous about what I would find out because for about a month now I have been experiencing the super painful headaches that mean something might be wrong, luckily nothing is wrong. Apparently my discs look good and that is a great relief! My optic nerves are not void of the tumor however, it seems that they are not growing...they aren't shrinking either. In an effort to escape the need for another spinal tap my doctor has given me a prescription for more diuretics which I have to take two times a day (this also means that I spend quite a bit of time on the toilet) and a pain killer, also two times a day. The side effect of the pain pill is grogginess, stomach cramps and an overall gross feeling. The discomfort in my stomach means that I am not eating regularly and that only adds to the sleepiness. I have spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself and that is no good but luckily I have friends who drag me out of the dumps and that is a nice feeling. I am going to try and keep my head up and continue to seek the advice of my doctor.

In other news: Sacramento is a land of ruin after the crazy rain and winds! Crushed cars, toppled trees and branches as road hazards are super uncool. Pictures to come.

Welcome 2008, I am glad you are here.

Happy Freaking New Year from Sacramento!!

I am pretty excited about 2008! I am not generally one who hangs on to superstition however, if it is true that the greatness of the year ahead is determined by how you welcome it then I am sure to have a really amazing 08.

Carol and I hung out with a pretty sweet pirate pinata...you know, props for the Mexican ;)

I had a pretty amazing time shakin' it...obviously.

Joshua entertained us with his sparkler skills whilest tending to the amazing bonfire.

Joshua had some pretty sweet dance moves.

The ladies of the house had a blast!

Courtney and I took aproximently 10 pictures of ourselves on the couch.

Super!

Things are going super good right now. I am staying busy so blogging is on the bottom of my to do list but in the meantime I have some new photos!

Kevin and Josh like having their picture taken with food. I think Kevin wants to remember all the glorious meals he shares with lovely people, Josh just likes the camera.

Courtney and I got to hang out at Harbor House with Josh and Jesse after a lovely night at Fern's. We were all in LA together and that was neat.

Carol, Joshua and Courtney drove to Tahoe to cut down out 10 - 11 foot Christmas tree with there bare hands! I was bummed to have to hang out at home but my old knees couldnt handle the cold or the hike. P.S. This picture does not to the tree much justice because it is truly amazing.

Freaking Out

So I am planning a party for church that is causing me to have regualr moments of freaking out. What the?! I have these weird highs and lows, exicted that my house will be full of great people but freaking out that I am going to forget something super duper important. At this very moment I am unable to sleep because I am thinking about everything that has to get done before Wednesday at 6PM when we will hopefully get this party started.

For the last 4 days I have battled crazy headaches that make my eyeballs want to jump out of my skull sometimes I forget that I am sick, I have a disease that can be very life changing and then this happens and I remember. I should probably be a bit more proactive in my care and go to doctors appointments, take my medicine and rest properly but I don't do any of those things until it gets so bad that waking up in the morning hurts. I am super frustrated that this is happening right in the midst of an important event for work I am annoyed, frustrated and freaking out. I think that once this is all over I will be eager to go hang out in the LBC for 9 days!

The good news is that even while it feels like life is heavy God peeks through and lets me know that he's got it all covered and my freak outs are irrational. I'm going to go be mesmerized by my Christmas tree now.

P.S. Totally forgot to devlelop film today, sorry I am a looooser.

Just Before Bed

It's cold outside but in my home it is warm because it is full of love. I am tired and ready for sleeping however, the glow of my massive Christmas tree calls me to hang out with a book longer than I should...I love this life. I am developing pictures tomorrow so there is sure to be some amazing things to share.

♥

Stupid Can Be A Reminder of Good.

Today was fair. It started off as most Saturdays do with the ever so famous Saturday Morning Breakfast (this week was especially glorious because Chad and Eli joined us!), oatmeal topped with so many delicious things along side eggs and yummy sausage...deeericious! The problem is this...my wonderful morning was tainted by my stupid computer and stupid Office Max and delayed mail and no communication with Kate and standing on J & 12th in the cold! I was bummed then my mom called and I cried for a minute about how ever since I acknowledged that I was sooo grateful my world has been hit over and over again with issues and all of those little issues decided to slam together at once which caused me to be super sad and discouraged. The good news is this: Refer to the photo above My Sacramento family makes me happy! At the end of the night after we all ate dinner and hung out I was reminded that I am blessed and no matter how many little things go wrong they will never make the love that is here dim. And now I am grateful again!

Thanks

I was walking through my house today, all by my lonesome gathering my things in preparation to a walk to Old Soul so that I could set up shop for a few hours of work when very suddenly I was hit with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. Just an hour before Carol, Amber, Courtney and I were just hanging out with the glow of our 10-11 foot amazing Christmas tree in the background. Mike stopped in to borrow cds, Carol was doing laundry and Amber was relaxing. I like that people are comfortable in my home. I like that people want to be here and I love that people call the tree"our tree" because it is our tree, we are a family. I am just really full right now and I want to make sure that I relish in that. I want to be sure to spread my gratitude around, I want to be sure not to be selfish with it. So right now I take a moment to say I am grateful for so many things:

• My Mom who calls me everyday, each call is a reminder of her love.
• My Dad who is an amazing example of dedication and consistency, I am excited for our weekly mini talks.
• My Uncle Dave for his example of strength.
• My Brother, because he is a model of generosity and unconditional love. He reminds me that boys aren't jerks.
• My roommates. Courtney for her enthusiasm and Sally for ability to just listen.
• Carol, Kevin, Josh, Amber, Mike, Andy and Jesse for receiving me so well and being great!
• Coffee because it brings people together.
• City Life Church
• Coffee with Ryan and Rachel a week or so ago because it reminded me of my passion for community and sparked ideas.