This picture is by an artist called Nikki McClure. She is super amazing and everything that she does is really wonderful. I was introduced to her about 4 years ago and I just can't get enough. That was a quick little rant before I get into the meaty stuff.
I have so many random things going on in my head lately, you all know that I think too much...too much for any one's good. I suppose it is a good thing in many ways however, in the moments of frustration or depth I sometimes wish that I could be just another struggling twenty-something. Sometimes what I want more than anything is to be someone who blends into the rest of the world. Maybe I am wrong in thinking that so many of those who blend are blessed with the ability to take it one moment at a time rather than thinking so far ahead. There I went again with a bit of a ramble...
So what is truly on my mind? Geez!
School started this week. So did my self examination. You know, the thing that happens when you look back on a time and realize all that you didn't accomplish. I mean I am turning 25 in about 2 weeks and I am no closer to being a real adult than I was 2 years ago. That sounds awful when I look back at it because I have accomplished plenty of things, but the world will not acknowledge any of them. What I mean is that I will not be any closer to a career or savings or you know, adulthood. I don't want to sound like I am ungrateful, I am not...just jaded by the world definition of success versus mine. The truth is that I rest easier in my definition. My definition allows me to be successful in so many ways...eventually.
What is my definition of success? That is no simple question. The truth is that I could type until my fingertips are raw and that wouldn't even touch it. So, instead I will tell you what I have accomplished and preface it with: I am proud of these things and therefore I have begun to succeed.
1. Moved: I grabbed all the material possessions that were important to me and with the help of my family packed a U-Haul trailer full and off to Sacramento I went...and here I am. Today I am beaming with pride when I call this place my home away from home. 2. Loved: I have learned how to love my friends and I have learned how to be loved by them. 3. Built: I have been a part of building what we like to call our Sacramento family. We are family away from family. An eclectic group of lovelies who fit perfectly among one another, it is through these friends that I have been shown God's amazing grace. Community! What I have done is moved away and found, and help build a community of people who love one another even though we sometimes suck. These beautiful people (Kevin, Carol, Joshua, Amber, Courtney, Sally, Michael Finn, Andy, Liz, Chad, Eli, Jesse...and of course my Kate so far away in the LBC) fill my heart so full that my body can't contain itself. You know, that happiness that is only properly released through tears. I am a lucky girl. I am grateful and in awe of God's plan for His children. I am humbled that He created us to need one another. I am full of joy that I found people who share such greatness with me. I am so effing lucky...so so so good!
Now that I have shared the beauty that is my Sacramento family I don't even want to touch the frustrations. I fear that they will overshadow my moment of bliss so I save that for after a night's sleep.
Come visit me here in my town, I promise that you will be well received. I promise to treat you to delicious coffee and cozy moments sprinkled with a walk or two...
♥
P.S. Go see The Orphanage! It was sooooo good! Also, There Will Be Blood...be prepared for the score of a lifetime. 2 good ones, so worth the ridiculously priced movie ticket!
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